day five

This morning I woke to raindrops on the glass windows.

In hospital, it’s easy to forget what day, month or even season it is. I see blue skies but I forget it’s winter. Is there warmth in the midday sun? Probably, it is Queensland. If I were in London it would be a different story. Does the breeze, that stirs the leaves outside, chill the bones? These are my quiet thoughts for the day. Maybe I should venture down to the eighth-floor outdoor area.

While eating breakfast – poached eggs with bacon, and fruit & yogurt – my surgeon, Dr P, walked in. He had in his hands a very important piece of paper – the pathology results from my breast tissue. He was only a day late, but hey, you can’t rush these things. I wasn’t really worried about the results, more curious. If things were black and white there wouldn’t have been an inch of doubt about the results. But I have learnt that things are never black and white… there is always a 1% chance… and 1% is still a number that can change your life.

So, the results, I hear you ask? All clear! What a relief. (A great birthday present for Mother, it’s her birthday today.) In his eyes, he thinks going through all of this is / was a pointless exercise. But I don’t for a second doubt my decision. This news paves a new step in front of me, further away from cancer. It’s a step in the right direction. They did, however, find something that wouldn’t have been discovered if it wasn’t for the surgery. (I hope I get this right for all my medical friends.) In the initial scar, from my lumpectomy, there was a trapped nerve – a traumatic neuroma. He asked if my scar was sometimes painful – well yes, but I thought that was normal. Now I don’t have to worry, my traumatic neuroma is gone. (I wish I had known about it earlier, I could have dropped it into a conversation here or there… my traumatic neuroma is painful today – how smart do I sound!)

Now that the big news of the day is over, the bump and grind of ward life continues. The nurse has arrived with my next dose of injections and tablets. The only pain medicine I am on now is Panadol. Who would have thought, five days post major surgery and ol’ Panadol is keeping me in check. I’m still having an injection twice a day, which helps thin my blood and avoid any blood clots. It takes me back to when I was self-injecting during the IVF process. I don’t know how, but I only ended up with one bruise after ten days of injections – I wish I could say the same now. Lucky I’m not planning on getting into a bikini in the next week or so.

Next on the agenda is to wait for my plastic surgeon, Dr O. If I’m lucky *crosses fingers* they may remove one or two drains today. In the meantime, I’ll start the showering process – oh how I long for the day where I can shower with ease, without drains or drips attached *dreams* (But doesn’t complain, I’m thankful I have the luxury of a shower!)

The exercise regime is going to be taken up a notch today – today I start double laps around the ward. I’ll be back to my half marathon speed in no time (shhh, don’t tell the doctors…)



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